Sufferings are complicated too: Take yourself out from the shock of the death of loved ones

(Kakoli Mukherjee)

New Delhi. In May this year, three members of a family committed suicide as they had lost their loved ones during the corona pandemic. After the death of the father in 2021, Anshika (30) and Anku (26) were finding it difficult to cope with this grief along with their mother Manju Srivastava (55). About a year later, he converted his house into a gas chamber and ended his life.

One of the causes of suicide in India is the grief or shock caused by the sudden death of a loved one. The latest data from the National Crime Records Bureau shows that in 2020, 1452 people committed suicide due to the shock of the death of a loved one. In 2021 this number increased to 1925. This was a total of 1.2 percent of all suicides in India.

Death in a family, especially the departure of a parent, has far-reaching implications for the rest of the members. In the absence of strong support, the bereaved family members can struggle financially, mentally, physically and emotionally for a long time. Talking to News18 Clinical Psychologist Titli Sarkar of YourDOST said: “Such a person may have feelings of sadness, loneliness, guilt, rejection, shame, anger, physical health problems like loss of appetite, sleeplessness. Such individuals may also develop mental conditions like depression, stressed out and suicidal behavior. As well as a longer form of suffering called complex misery…

For those suffering from complex grief, mourning the death of a loved one is longer and more intense. Such individuals may often think that it is not right for them to survive because someone close to them has died. According to a chapter in “Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief” published in the National Library of Medicine of the US National Institutes of Health, complex grief is a condition that describes the circumstances of death.

Neelima Prasad, deputy director of Roshni Counseling Center in Hyderabad, says: “After the passing of a family member, survivors can feel a serious sense of guilt. They think about the things they could or could not have done to prevent death. Different people deal with grief in different ways. Although some people don’t like to talk about the deceased at all, reliving memories can be a therapeutic measure for others. When counseling, we respect the wishes of the bereaved and ask questions about how they would like to handle the grief.”

At the same time, Dr Sahir Jamati, Consultant Psychologist and Psychiatrist at Masina Hospital, Mumbai, says, “Working through difficult times in life makes one develop different strategies. It can also help during grief. He added, “Perhaps, simply sharing your feelings and talking to friends or other concerned can help ease the burden of loss. Tell friends that you don’t expect advice or answers from them, but simply want to share your feelings or memories about the person you’ve lost. If there is no one to talk to, the help of professionals should be taken.”

Neelima Prasad, deputy director of Roshni Counseling Center in Hyderabad, says, “A person struggling with such feelings may have co-dependence with the deceased. However, it also depends on whether he has relatives or friends like base. It is important that a bereaved person is allowed to express his grief in a safe place.”

Dr. Sahir suggests that creative activities such as drawing, crafting, listening to or playing music, etc. can help process excessive emotions. Having a pet, taking refuge in religion or spirituality, joining bereavement support groups and taking long walks can also help in coping with this type of trauma.

The impact of the death of a family member can also affect your taking major life decisions. Therefore, in such a situation, do not make big changes in life immediately. Because a big loss is already hindering a lot in your life. So it’s best to keep everything else as normal as possible. Changing jobs, taking big financial decisions, moving ahead or taking other big life decisions should be avoided at this time. For the bereaved, one should try to be kind to oneself and slowly move forward leaving behind their grief.

[हेल्पलाइन नंबर: रोशनी परामर्श केंद्र (हैदराबाद), सभी दिनों (सुबह 11 बजे – रात 9 बजे), 81420 20033, 81420 20044 पर मुफ्त परामर्श उपलब्ध है]

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Tags: Boyfriend Suicide, Life, mental health, Mental Health Awareness, Suicide

FIRST PUBLISHED : August 31, 2022, 20:07 IST

The article is in Hindi

Tags: Sufferings complicated shock death loved

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